The Mundane Misadventures of Phillip Odinson, Former God of Thunder.

Originally posted by Brianna Heine on the other (now defunct) version of this site.

Hello, all! It has been far too long since I posted something to Age of Ruins. In order to ease myself into blogging again I plan on posting a few, silly things just to get my creative juices flowing.

As it turns out the recent announcement that Thor is now a woman has intrigued me. After some debate online with friends of friends I’ve decided to post my thoughts here.

The main argument I see is that “Thor” is a title as well as a name. This, to me, is patently ridiculous. Even though there is precedent in the comics previous to this current incarnation of Thor, Thor is clearly his name, not his title. So without further adieu I will attempt to explain why Thor is a title instead of a name and show why that idea is stupid. In future posts, until I run out of ideas or get bored, I will continue the mundane tales of Phillip Odinson.

Part 1: Birth of a rather nondescript, possibly legendary figure.

One thousand years ago, in the hall of the Asgardian Apothecary…

“Push, my dear! Push!” exclaimed Odin.

Jord, the Earth Goddess, gave one more mighty push at the behest of the Allfather as the Asgardian midwife skillfully guided the life from her womb.

“It’s a boy.” explained the midwife as she wrapped the child in fine silk. She handed the baby to Jord who, with a smile, looked up to the Lord of Asgard and asked “What shall we call him?”

With pride Odin declared “His name shall be… Phillip!”

“Phillip?” questioned Jord “Would not the Lord of Asgard prefer a more powerful name? Perhaps something more worthy of the son of Odin?” The Earthmother continued.

“Oh, nay!” an emboldened Odin stated “He has not any powers yet and he is but a helpless baby.” The Allfather continued “Soon I will have constructed for him a mighty hammer but only after he has proven himself worthy may he lift it and weild the power it holds.”

Standing boldly and lifting his child above his head the Lord of Asgard decreed “On that day, and only when wielding that weapon, shall he be known as Thor, the God of Thunder!”

Odin finished with “The rest of the time we’ll just call him Phillip.”

Author: John Carr

Gamer, comic guy, office drone.

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